


Welcome to the Boonies

by dustandroses



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Blowjobs, Community: tamingthemuse, Demons Made Them Do It, First Time, Frottage, M/M, Rimming, Seduction, possible dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-10 04:54:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1155333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustandroses/pseuds/dustandroses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Scoobies are chasing a demon that lives on sexual energy.  But Xander can't figure out how he got stuck working with Spike.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt Notes:** Inspiration for this fic taken from the Live Journal Community Tamingthemuse prompt #392: Hinterlands  
>  **Notes:** As a teen, we didn't call the place that the kids went to make out Lover's Lane, we called it the Boondocks. When I read on Mirriam-Webster's site that one of the words associated with hinterlands was boondocks, this story sprang into my mind pretty damn much full-formed. However, it was supposed to be a simple PWP. I think something is wrong with my Smut Muse. She keeps turning my PWPs into plotty stories with smut. (Please send help!)

Xander clenched the dashboard, and stared nervously out the window, or at least out the one clear space on the window he could see out of. Spike took a corner far too fast, and Xander clung tightly to the dashboard and braced his feet in the footwell, hoping that he wouldn’t slide too far over, since if he bumped into Spike that might cause him to crash, as fast as they were moving. 

Besides, that would lead to touchage, and Xander had no interest in touching the bleached bastard, even through layers and layers of cloth and leather. He swallowed his fear, and concentrated on what he knew best, his hatred of Spike. And he did hate Spike. He really did. Okay, good. He felt better already.

From what he could see out of the black-painted windshield, they came close to sideswiping a car, and the man getting out of it. Xander squealed – shouted! That was a manly shout, not a squeal of panic.

“Spike! You almost killed that guy!”

“Stop being such a nob, Harris. We’re not even going…” he paused to check the speedometer, “40 miles over the limit. What are you, some kind of baby?” He laughed. “What am I saying? Of course you are.”

“I’m a man who is worried about making it to Lover’s Lane in one piece, all right? Breathing, living human, here! No breaking the human, remember?”

“What a wimp. Don’t worry, Harris, vampire reflexes, _remember?_ he parroted back at Xander sarcastically. He pushed a tape into the deck, and loud, ear-splitting music came out, which Spike sang along to as he took his hands off the steering wheel to light his cigarette.

Xander held his panic down, his nails digging furrows in the dashboard. How the hell did he let them talk him into this?

_“Sualapet demons heighten human’s libidos, while seriously depleting their self-control, enabling the demons to feed off the sexual energy humans emit when they’re having sex.”_

_Giles' face was red. It was obvious that he felt uncomfortable with the whole conversation. Xander couldn’t stop his subtle smirk._

_“This is why they’re attracted to teenagers, and young adults. Their hormones are already at a peak, and they fluctuate wildly. The least amount of encouragement can set them off, and make them even more reckless in their pursuit of carnality than is usual.”_

Spike turned down the music to say, “Relax, Harris, you’re not going to die between here and there.”

“Only because we’re almost there! You need to slow down.” Spike started to say something, but Xander talked right over him. “We’re supposed to be keeping a low profile, remember? If you take those gravel roads at these speeds, everyone is going to notice when we show up.”

“I’m not an idiot, Harris. I know what the roads are like out here, I’ve been here plenty of times. Probably more often than you.”

“What? I grew up here. Cordelia and I came out here all the time.”

“Is that the little cheerleader chit? The one that broke up with you on Valentine’s Day?” Spike scoffed. “I heard all about her. You telling me you actually got her to spread those lily white thighs for you?”

“Hey!” Xander regretting bringing Cordelia up now. Obviously the girls had been telling tales behind his back. “That’s none of your business, buster! I don’t kiss and tell!”

Spike nodded sagely. “Especially when you’ve got nothing to tell.”

Xander was saved by the fact that their turn off was coming up rapidly, and Spike wasn’t even slowing down. For that matter, he wasn’t even looking at the road. How long had he been looking at Xander, and ignoring the road?

“Spike! _Turn_!!!”

Spike glanced to the front, and cursed, twisting the wheel sharply to the right, swerving the car off onto the grassy bank on the other side of the road before getting it headed back onto the road again, at a slower speed. 

Xander gasped, unclenching his hands from the dash and working his fingers to restore the feeling in them. “You’re going to get me killed, you asshole. And if I’m dying, I’m going to take you with me. I have a stake, and I know how to use it.”

It was an empty threat, and Xander knew it. As long as Spike was conscious, he’d be able to get out of a dying Xander’s way. 

Spike laughed. “You don’t scare me, lunkhead.”

“Oh yeah? If you crash this car, and I get hurt, who do you think the chip is going to blame for that?” He crossed his arms smugly, and let Spike think that one through.

“What? No,” Spike protested.

“Remember back when you were staying with me, and you pushed the bathroom door open as I was walking by? You didn’t even have to see me before the chip reacted.”

“Bollocks!” 

Xander smirked as Spike slammed the steering wheel with both hands. He half expected the wheel to crumple under the blow, but it held up. He guessed they built cars better back in the fifties, or whenever this old junker was from. Actually, it was a pretty solidly built car, which was good, considering the way Spike drove. But it was too bad seatbelts weren’t mandatory way back when. Xander could have used a seatbelt.

_“So Sualapet demons are like a succubus, or an incubus?”_

_“Not exactly, Willow. Succubi and incubi actually sleep with the humans they drain of life force. There are many similar creatures in folk legends and mythology throughout history - the leannán sídhe in Celtic folklore, and the qarînah of Arabian mythology. Brazilians have the boto, Germans the alp, and in Chile they have a creature called the trauco. But all of these have intercourse with humans, and steal the human’s _life force_._

_"The Sualapet demons have no physical contact with the humans they drain. They release into the air a hormone which encourages arousal in both sexes, and practically eliminates self-restraint. Once the hormone takes effect, they need only remain nearby, and absorb the sexual energy that is a natural byproduct of the sex act. And yes, before you ask, life force and sexual energy are two distinct forms of energy.”_

They pulled off the gravel road a good half a mile before the grassy clearing that should be crowded with cars on a Saturday night. Xander had always thought of Miller’s Woods as a creepy place, even in the daytime, but tonight, Xander was pretty sure he could _feel_ the tension in the air. He had a feeling it wasn’t all sexual, either.

Once the car was far enough off the road that it wasn’t likely to be seen, they got out and pulled out their weapons. Xander couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped; calling his two favorite Super Soaker CPS 2000s weapons worthy of a demon hunt was just funny. He’d hated to pull them out at first. The CPS 2000 was discontinued. If it weren’t for the fact that they were well used, he could probably get a good price for them from a collector. But he’d never sell. He, Jessie, and Willow had spent more than one summer chasing each other around Willow’s parent’s house with these. Good times.

He’d thought long and hard about it before he agreed that this was a worthy use for them. Jessie usually left his Soaker at Xander’s or maybe Willow’s house, to keep his kid brothers from getting their hands on it, and it had been at Xander’s house when he’d been vamped. Xander’d held onto it all these years, even bringing both of them with him when he finally moved out of his parent’s house earlier this year. But they needed it, and Xander liked to think Jessie would approve. 

He’d given _his_ to Spike, and kept Jessie’s for himself, but Xander still warned the vampire to take good care of it, or else. Spike had been smugly unimpressed with them until they took him outside and showed him the range and power the toys had. He’d finally admitted they’d do the job. As they pulled the Super Soakers out of the trunk, Xander grimaced; the combination of salt, lemon, eucalyptus, fennel, and other assorted smelly herbs was disgusting. Tara had promised the tonic wasn’t harmful to humans, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. 

He noticed Spike wasn’t breathing, except to speak, so he supposed he wasn’t the only one who thought it smelled bad. But hey, as long as it broke through the demon’s hormones, and disrupted his spell when they needed it to, they’d have to put up with it. They pulled out a couple of gallons of refills for backup, and headed out. 

“Do you feel it yet?” Xander whispered. 

The shake of Spike’s head was hard to see in the dark, and he concentrated on following Spike carefully, to make sure he didn’t snap any twigs or do anything stupid to alert the Sualapet to their presence. He hoped that Giles was right, and Buffy and Spike would feel the demon, the way they felt a vampire’s presence, but Giles had read conflicting stories on that, so he wasn’t positive they would. 

_“If the sexual energy is a natural byproduct, then it’s not hurting anyone. So what’s the problem?”_

_Xander rolled his eyes. Only a vampire who didn’t care about how the kids might feel afterwards would ask such a question. “Maybe you don’t care if those kids are getting raped or not, but we do.”_

_“Raped?” Spike seemed truly puzzled over that. “But the Watcher said that they had to be sexual attracted to each other before the Sualapet’s hormones would have any effect.”_

_“Sexual attraction does not mean that those children are ready for sexual intercourse at that age.” Giles stared over his glasses disapprovingly._

_“Yeah, not everyone who goes to Lover’s Lane is ready for sex, Spike.” Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, and practically begged Spike to disagree._

_“Unfortunately, there’s even more to worry about. It takes a great deal of sexual energy to satisfy a Sualapet. And when exposed to their hormone regularly, humans can grow dependent on it. They’ll continue to come back, over and over again, and when the demon has absorbed all it needs and moved on, those who’ve become addicted to its hormone will suffer a painful and debilitating withdrawal that has, in the most severe cases, led to death.”_

_There was only one word Xander could think of for that. “Whoa.”_

__They set their extra gallons of backup tonic at the very edge of the clearing, and looked around. Now that they were here, Xander was a bit at a loss as to where to start._ _

__“What do we do now, go from car to car and ask if they’re possessed by the ghost of orgasms present?”_ _

__Spike snorted, and reached for a cigarette. Xander was about to suggest that might not be a good idea when Spike got the same thought, and dropped his hand, awkwardly._ _

__“I doubt they’ll realize that they’re doing anything out of the ordinary until after they come down off the hormone. I think we’ll need to skulk around the edges of the clearing, and see what comes up.”_ _

__He paused, and gave Xander a long look. At least Xander thought he was looking at him. It was dark, so it was hard to tell. Xander was about to ask him what he was doing, when he spoke._ _

__“Maybe you should stay here. You don’t have my eyesight, or my ability to walk without letting everyone in a fifty foot radius know exactly where I am.”_ _

__Xander felt his stomach turn over. Spike wanted to dump him. He could disappear, and Xander’d never know he was gone until the last of the cars left, and he was alone in the clearing._ _

__“Oh no you don’t. Giles said we should stick together. You’re the only one with a sword. You can’t leave me here defenseless!”_ _

__“I can leave the sword here with you until I do a round, and come back again. I’m not trying to come face to face with the Sualapet yet, I just want to get a sense of what’s happening before everyone knows we’re here. I can keep an eye on you. It’s not that large a clearing. If you call my name, I can be here in less than ten seconds. Besides, as long as you’ve got two gallon jugs of this pisswater, no self-respecting demon’s gonna come within fifty feet of you.”_ _

__Xander looked Spike up and down, and Spike shrugged, his face a blank mask._ _

__“I lost my self-respect a year ago when I crashed the Slayer’s Thanksgiving dinner. I’ve got no shame, these days.”_ _

__Xander winced. He made a probably reckless decision, and plopped down in the grass, crossing his arms. “I’ll be right here. Don’t take all night.”_ _

__Spike looked at him in surprise. Obviously he hadn’t expected Xander to agree. He reached for the sword, and Xander waved his hand._ _

__“You keep it. You’re much more likely to actually hit anything with it than I am. Besides, I’m surrounded by pisswater, nobody’s coming near me, right? So hurry up, I’m not going to wait here all night.”_ _

__“Right. Be back in fifteen.” He disappeared into the shadows, and Xander was all alone._ _

__“Great.” His stomach was in knots. Not just because he really hated being by himself in this kind of darkness. No, his biggest turmoil was that Spike had just slapped Xander across the face with a huge helping of guilt. The guy was ostracized from his fellow demons; Willy had told Buffy about Spike getting kicked out of his bar by a handful of big bruisers that were regular customers. He’d told her Spike was bad for business, so he hadn’t tried to stop them._ _

__Spike pretty much had no one – Drusilla had left him, and Angel wanted nothing to do with him. He was alone, and defenseless. He could fight demons, sure, but if they wanted him badly enough, all they had to do was hire humans to hold him down, and he’d be dust, with no one to even mourn his passing. Sure, he was an asshole, and a creep, but he fought for them, and they treated him like crap. They were supposed to be the good guys, but Xander wasn’t feeling much like a good guy right now._ _

_“It only affects humans, Giles?”_

_“No, Buffy. Several of the more ‘human-like’ species are also susceptible to its hormones. Which mean that you, Spike, will need to be aware of the risks. Therefore, I insist that you do not accompany any of the women.”_

_“Bloody hell.”_

_“Right. Since Willow and Tara are capable of protecting themselves from the hormone, it looks like it’s a girl’s night out. Willow, Tara, and I will take Fraternity Row, and if we can’t find the Swallow Pet there, we’ll…”_

_“That’s sue-ah-la-pet, Slayer.”_

_One slender shoulder lifted in a shrug. “That’s what I said. Swallow Pet.”_

_Spike rolled his eyes, and Xander stepped in before things could escalate, and Buffy turned it into a vampire smackdown._

_“Considering where we’re going to find this demon, I think Buffy’s pronunciation is probably fairly accurate,” Xander said with a snicker._

_He got an “EEeeeeewww!” for his efforts, and grinned unrepentantly._

_“Yes, thank you, Xander, for bringing the conversation down to the lowest common denominator.”_

_“Hey, it’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it.”_

Xander stood up and looked around. He’d gotten caught up with all his soul searching, and he’d lost track of where Spike was. It hadn’t been too hard to follow him at first, he just needed to stare down the side of the clearing, and he’d spot a white shape right at the line of the trees, or occasionally a sense of movement as Spike stepped closer to a car to check inside. He hadn’t had any trouble, so obviously no one else had noticed him. Xander wouldn’t have if he hadn’t been staring. 

But now he’d lost Spike and - Xander gasped in relief. He spotted Spike’s blond hair as he slowly made his way across the other side of the clearing. When he got to the other corner, opposite from Xander, he turned and stared in Xander's direction for a moment before stepping into the woods. 

“Where the hell is he going?” 

Xander watched, scanning the woods carefully, biting his lip, but positive that Spike would come out soon. He wasn’t sure why. The vampire had no reason not to lie, but Xander knew he would come back for him. 

He fought the strong feeling that he should go see what Spike was doing. He’d have to travel in the woods, there was no way he could slink along the edges the way Spike had. He’d never get away with it. But it wouldn’t do either of them any good if Xander got lost in Miller’s Woods, way out in the middle of nowhere. 

His stomach churned. He didn’t even have the key to Spike’s car, and he had no idea how to pick the lock, or hotwire the car. If Spike didn’t come back, Xander was up the old creek without a paddle. 

Fifteen minutes later Spike still hadn’t come back, and Xander knew he had no choice. He was going to have to go after Spike. This was going to be a disaster. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike and Xander have been separated. Who knows what kind of trouble they could get up to now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt Notes:** Inspiration for this chapter taken from the Live Journal community Tamingthemuse prompt #393: Overwhelmed

Lover’s Lane was crowded tonight, and not merely with teenagers. Spike had already dusted one party of vamps, and he could tell there were at least a handful more in the area that had plans for a bite to eat. He could feel the hunger all around him. Combined with the heady scent of human lust that blanketed the entire area, it was enough to keep Spike fighting his true face, almost overwhelmed by the tantalizing aromas that surrounded him. It was times like these that were hardest on him – that thrice-damned chip had taken far too much, and left him a pale copy of the demon he once was. He’d have his revenge in the end. They’d be sorry they messed with Spike, but there would be no mercy.

In the meantime, he needed to keep his mind on business. He’d get as much done as possible before he had to pick up Harris. He thought the berk would be safe, surrounded by that pisswater, but he’d have to move quickly. If he were by himself, he’d take his time and see what the vamps were up to, maybe join in on the fun, if he could do it without revealing his handicap. But with Harris along, he had to clear them out before they got a sniff of the boy. 

He wasn’t sure what it was about him that appealed to demons, but there was an attraction – maybe those big, dark eyes of his that made him look so helpless, and easily bruised. Spike didn’t know how Harris’ demon girl had given up on him the way she had, but she’d turned her back on him as soon as her boss had relented and taken her back. She’d walked away without more than a “Ciao!” Spike was certain there’d be another demon to take her place, soon. Which was a shame. With that new apartment of his, and his penchant for beer and cable TV, Spike could have been quite comfortable lairing up with Harris, if he wasn’t such a nob. 

_Xander wasn’t sure why he was doing this. If Spike came back for him, and he was off somewhere, getting lost in the woods, then Spike would have a perfect excuse for leaving him behind._

_‘I told him to wait, and he ran off into the woods like a bleeding fool. What was I supposed to do?’_

_Spike would leave him behind without a second thought. He told himself to believe that, and most of him did. But what with all the guilt over treating Spike like crap for the last year or so, Xander felt a little backstabbish even thinking it. Okay, maybe Spike was an evil fiend of the dark, but he’s the evil fiend of the dark that had been saving their bacon for the last year, and he didn’t have to do that. At least not as regularly as he did._

_Xander pulled his jacket closer around him, and grabbed his favorite lucky stake. With the stake, and a Super Soaker full of that skanky water from hell, he was as well armed as he could get. Settling the strap of his water gun more securely around his neck, Xander headed off to find his missing vampire._

Spike watched the pair of vamps carefully. He needed information, and the first group he ran across didn’t give him a chance to isolate one for questioning. Hopefully, these two would be easier to deal with. They didn’t even notice him coming up behind them until the first one was dust, and Spike had his arm around the second one’s throat, his stake pressed over her heart.

“Hello, love. What are you up to this evening, eh?”

She gasped. “You killed Alan! What did you do that for?”

Spike tisked. “I asked first. Be a good girl, now, and answer my question.”

“We were just looking for some fun. These kids with those wild teenage hormones, they hardly notice us before it’s too late, and they’re so pliable once you’ve drained the fight out of them.”

He bit back his sigh; he used to love places like this. The blood was so rich with pheromones that you could get drunk on it. “You do this regularly, do you?”

“Oh yeah, at least once a week, but we clean up after ourselves. We dump our empties on the other side of town, and take their car to The Dry Cleaners. It’s good for some spare change.”

The Dry Cleaners was the demon owned chop shop in town. They’d buy most anything automotive, cut it up and sell the parts, mostly in LA. It kept the streets clear of all the abandoned cars that would otherwise litter Sunnydale, the same way the scavengers kept the town free of the bodies that came out of those cars. 

“Just got here, then?”

“Well, we went to the Boondocks first, but a bunch of vamp bullies kicked us out. They said we could have the tamer kids, but they had something special planned for the wild ones tonight, and we weren’t invited.”

“The Boondocks?”

“You’re new around here, aren’t you?” she said alluringly. 

She shimmied her hips, rubbing up against the hard-on Spike had sprouted the minute he got a good whiff of the marvelous mix of lust and hunger and teenage angst that had settled like haze over the area. Delicious.

“I could show you around, if you wanted. Now that Alan’s gone, I’m going to need some help dumping the bodies and getting rid of the car. But we could go back to my place after, and have some fun of our own.”

He was sorely tempted. She wasn’t hard on the eye, and her body was firm and curvy under his hands. But he had things to do, and besides, she’d probably drop him the moment she saw Harris. Spike didn’t know what it was that lured them in, but the demons were obsessed with the guy. 

“I’d love to, but I have plans. So where are these Boondocks, so I know to avoid them?”

“About half a mile through the woods, just east of us.” She sniffed delicately, no doubt getting a whiff of the pisswater that clung to his clothes. “Do you smell something?” 

He let her go, and took a step back. She turned around, her eyebrows rising in interest as she got a good look at him. “Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider my offer?” she asked seductively. She walked up to him and leaned in, rubbing herself all over him like a cat. “We could be _great_ friends.”

“Sorry, love.” He ran his fingers along her jaw. “I can’t afford you taking a liking to Harris. We’re going to have to part ways.” 

She was dust before she even saw his hand move. Spike stepped back, out of the way of the fallout, and adjusted his package. Too bad he was under a gun; he really needed to get laid. He grabbed Harris’ Super Soaker from the tree branch where he’d hung it, settled it around his neck, and walked out of the woods, to check on Harris across the length of the lane. A shock of cold ran through him - Harris was gone! 

_“Never trust a vampire,” Xander muttered as he picked his way through the woods, trying his damnedest not to step on any twigs or crackly leaves, or brush up against any trees or bushes. He was not succeeding. He stumbled over a dip in the ground, and put his hand out to stop his fall, snapping a twig off the trunk of a tree. Damn, something new to watch for. Who’d have thought he’d have to watch where he put his hands? He was supposed to be watching his feet!_

_What the hell was he thinking, saying yes, he’d go with Spike on a trip to make-out city with a lust monster on the loose? Where was his brain? Okay, so his occasional homosexual urges were vague and unformed, because teenage boys aren’t allowed to think like that in high school, unless they looked a lot like Larry Blaisdell. Larry could be as gay as he wanted; no one was going to say a word to the captain of the football team._

_But Xander was an adult now – he was almost twenty, for crying out loud. Vague, homosexual urges only made him a little – somewhat – _a tiny bit_ bisexual, so he should be able to handle a lust monster, even if he was trapped at make-out point with the most gorgeous, perfectly built, cheekbones-to-die-for, blue-eyed vampire in the world. _

_He had to stop thinking like that. Spike was a rude, obnoxious, cranky, egotistical, assholeish, vampire! A nasty, wet-towels-on-the-floor, blood-rings-in-my-coffee-mugs, Captain-Crunch-in-a-bowl-of-blood, walking-around-wearing-nothing-but-a-wet-towel-and-the-most-amazing-set-of-abs-I’ve-ever-seen vampire._

_“Dear god, I’m going to die, or at least make an absolute fool of myself,” he said mournfully._

_The sound of a snapped twig broke him out of his whirling thoughts. He looked down. With no twigs near his feet, Xander had to acknowledge that it was possible that he had company. He held his breath while he waited, his eyes scanning the trees and bushes around him in the dim light of a partial moon. Nothing stirred. He blew out his breath in a whoosh. He sure wished he could turn on his flashlight. But why bother walking in the woods to avoid being seen, if everyone could see his flashlight?_

_If Spike were here, he could follow Spike, and be fairly certain he wasn’t going to make too much noise, but without the annoying one, he was going to have to manage on his own. He hated vampires. He had to keep telling himself that, or he was going to embarrass himself at some point tonight. He adjusted his grip on his stake, and started walking again, trying his best to keep an eye out for the cars he could vaguely see through the trees. The last thing he needed was to get lost in these woods. Where the hell was Spike? He’d promised he’d come back._

_“Never trust a vampire,” Xander reminded himself._

_With no warning, a strong, heavy arm wrapped around Xander and held him tight against a large chest - a cool hand over his mouth._

_“I think that’s very closed-minded of you,” a deep voice rumbled into his ear. “I’d be deeply hurt, if I weren’t going to eat you now.”_

_Xander screwed his eyes closed. This was going to hurt like hell._

Xander Harris was a dead man. It didn’t matter what he had to do to accomplish it, but he would find a way to kill the lunkhead. How difficult was it to stay where you were told? What the bleeding hell did that berk think he was doing? True, Spike had taken longer than he’d planned to get back to him. But he hadn’t planned on running into two different groups of vamps by the time he was half-way across the lane. Harris should have stayed where he was put.

Spike cut right down through the center of Lover’s Lane to get back to the corner Harris was supposed to be in. He’d completely destroyed any chance they had of not being noticed, if there was anything about, looking for suspicious activity. It didn’t matter, Harris was gone, and there were no clues as to why. The gallons of pisswater were still sitting exactly where they’d left them, and there were no marks of a fight, or even a scuffle. It was if he’d simply disappeared. 

Fortunately, there was a trail of that awful pisswater scent that led across the gravel road at the head of the lane, and Spike followed it into the woods. Hopefully, Harris was hanging on to his buddy’s giant water gun, and this trail would lead to him. Watching carefully for the signs of the passage of clumsy humans, it was easy to see more than one person bumbling their way through the woods. What he didn’t like was that two sets of feet followed the scent of pisswater, so it was possible someone was tracking his human. He began to move faster, if this was a demon of some sort, Harris could be in a lot of trouble.

If he ever found the little bastard, he was going to tie him up, so he couldn’t go around hunting up trouble any more. That was a pretty picture. There were a lot of things you could do to a human in bondage, and plenty of them wouldn’t cause his chip even the slightest of twinges. That line of thought didn’t help his aching cock, but it was an appealing image, none the less. Or maybe he should get Harris a collar and a lead. He could see Harris on his knees, his dark eyes begging to be allowed to suck Spike’s cock. Oh, that was tasty. 

When he found Harris, he was going to bend the nob over the nearest fallen tree, and fuck him until he begged Spike to stop. And maybe he’d stop. But then again, maybe he’d keep going until Harris was begging him for more, once again. Harris was still young. Spike bet they could fuck all night if he played his cards right.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Xander's ability to attract demons is working at full force tonight. But Spike is AWOL, and Xander is in real trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt Notes:** Inspiration for this fic taken from the Live Journal community Tamingthemuse prompt #394: Apotropaic  
>  **Notes:** Apotropaic is a big word with a simple meaning - having the power to prevent evil or bad luck.

The vamp holding Xander to his chest lowered his face to Xander’s neck. He braced himself for the bite, and wondered if there was a way to use the stake in his left hand, with the vamp’s arm holding that arm tightly to his side. His right arm was free, but he couldn’t reach the stake, so the only weapon he had handy was the Super Soaker. If he aimed the Soaker over his shoulder, he could get the nasty tonic all over the guy’s face, and that might at least shock him enough to free Xander, or at least his arm, then he could switch the stake to his right hand and twist around, driving his lucky stake into the vamp’s heart. 

It was a good plan, but he usually didn’t have this much time to make plans when a vamp had grabbed him and was ready to bite. This vamp wasn’t biting, though. He had his face buried in Xander’s neck, taking huge sniffs of Xander’s skin. Ewww. What the hell was he doing?

“You smell so good,” the vamp murmured. His big hand slid off Xander’s mouth, and slid down, across his chest and belly, to rest directly over Xander’s groin. He squeezed, and ran his fingers over Xander’s cock before squeezing again.

Xander was so stunned that it took him several moments to recover. “Hey!” He reached out with his one free hand, and slapped at the hand fondling him. “None of that! That’s inappropriate touching, mister!”

The vamp let go long enough to trap Xander’s free arm underneath the arm that already had his left one trapped, and went back to the molesting of Xander’s cock. Doh! If Xander could have slapped his forehead, he would have. Now he didn’t have _any_ arms loose. If he’d held his cool longer, he might have been able to get himself free and take this big asshole out – or at least try to. Now he couldn’t even implement his brilliant plan, because he couldn’t get close enough to the Super Soaker to squirt the bastard in the face.

_What Xander Harris really needed was a good buggering._

_Spike would be glad to help him with that, but the bleeding nob hated him. He smelled of aggression and anger every time Spike came within fifty feet of him, and that could wear on a fella. What the hell had Spike ever done to him? Well, maybe he’d threatened the berk once or twice. Okay, he had tried to kill Harris a few times, and he’d knocked him over the head with a microscope, once. And kidnapped him. But he hadn’t done anything recently._

_He’d been a model of good behavior lately. So yeah, he had a chip that made it impossible to do a lot of the things he’d like, but it didn’t stop him from slashing the Watcher’s tires, or bashing in the windows of his flashy new pimpmobile with a bat. If it weren’t for Joyce and the Lil’ Bit, he could have set the Slayer’s house on fire months ago, but in lieu of that he could go by the Slayer’s dorm, and start rumors about the various venereal diseases he’d got from her._

_If he wanted to, it would be easy to set the Magic Box on fire after everyone had gone home for the night. He could sabotage the building Harris was working on, or break into City Hall one night and get Harris’ apartment building condemned. But he hadn’t done any of that, now had he? And what did he get in return for his good behavior? Slammed up against a wall and punched by the Slayer, looked down on and sneered at by the Watcher, insulted by Harris and called ridiculous and hurtful names._

_What Harris needed was an attitude adjustment, and Spike didn’t plan on waiting until that bleeding chip wore out before he gave it to him. There were plenty of things he could do to that berk right now. Spike was so busy imagining everything he planned to do to Harris that he almost missed the point where Harris took a wrong turn, and headed off toward what that vamp had called the Boondocks._

_“Bloody buggering hell!”_

_If Spike was right, that was where that Sualapet had set up business. Spike rolled his eyes. It was just like the bleeding nob to head straight for the danger. He needed to find Harris before that demon found him._

Xander had a problem. Well, he had more than one, but the most important one right now was that his cock was taking a liking to all of Grabby Vamp’s fondling, and even a stern ‘down boy!’ couldn’t get it to change its stupid mind. But the vampire was humping his ass, and he could feel a rather large lump back there, and that put a slight damper on his libido. If anyone was going to fuck him up the ass, it sure as hell wasn’t going to be this big ugly lug. 

He refused to imagine who he might allow to fuck him, he was too busy squirming around, trying to get Grabby to let go of his cock. If he stomped on the vamp’s foot he might tighten his hand and do some permanent damage to Xander’s pride and joy. That was not an option. The sloppy licking and sucking the guy was doing on Xander’s neck was annoying, but at least he wasn’t biting, so he decided to concentrate on the most important thing first. Xander’s cock.

“Stop fighting,” Grabby Vamp murmured into Xander’s ear. “I know you like it. Feel how hard you are? You want me. You know you do.”

“No I don’t!” Xander argued.

“Then what’s this?” He squeezed Xander’s cock again, and Xander fought back a moan.

“I can’t help it if I have a stupid cock. It doesn’t matter who’s touching it, it gets hard anyway. It’s a guy thing!”

“Well then, I suggest you let it do its thing, or this is going to be much more painful for you than it has to be.” 

He let go of Xander’s cock, and Xander sighed in relief. However, the relief was short lived. When Grabby reached for Xander’s belt, he knew he had to do something – fast! He stomped on the vamp’s foot, aiming for the instep, and Grabby yelled loudly, and let go, freeing Xander to turn around. Before he could move his stake to his right hand, the bastard backhanded him, and he went tumbling to the ground. Grabby picked him up by the shirt front, pulling out a couple of dozen chest hairs in the process. 

“Ow! I need those!” he shouted.

“Should have thought of that before you stomped on my foot, asshole. I was going to take it easy on you, but now, I’m gonna make it hurt. A lot.”

He pushed Xander back until he hit a tree, then Grabby shoved his big old tongue in Xander’s mouth, and started kissing him. Xander thought about biting him, but Grabby pulled Xander’s zipper open, put his hand down Xander’s pants, and squeezed his balls. Xander froze. He got the point. No misbehaving, if he wanted to keep his lil’ buddies. The guy was slobbering all over him, and he cringed. But he put up with it while he thought. There had to be something he could do to get out of this mess.

_“What a bloody pillock!”_

_Spike had lost Harris’ trail. It was his own fault. He hadn’t been paying enough attention, and the trail had been fouled by a group of maybe a dozen vamps headed roughly in the same direction. He’d been using his nose, relying on the scent of the tonic to lead him in the right direction, and had lost track of the footprints. He realized too late that his sense of smell had been fooled by the fact that he carried a huge water gun full of the same damned scent. He’d been going round in circles for a while now._

_He was a gormless plonker – a bleeding, buggering wankstain! Spike kicked a tree angrily, the hit jarring his leg, clear up to the knee. It was a good thing he had on his steel-toe boots, because that would have hurt. He growled at himself for being such a poxy arse, screaming to the sky, as if that would help. Then he fell to the ground, his head hung low. The Slayer was going to stake him for losing her friend._

_He didn’t know how long he sat there, but it wasn’t too long before he heard a shout. He wasn’t sure if it came from Harris or not, it was too far away to judge. But what the hell, it was worth a shot. He got up, and started off in the direction he thought the shout had come from._

Xander took stock: the Super Soaker was missing, he must have lost it when he fell; his right arm was trapped behind him, pressed up against the tree, and with the vamp pushing against his chest, he couldn’t move enough to pull it out; Grabby Vamp’s left hand was squeezing Xander’s balls, and his right hand was holding Xander’s face still; that left Xander’s left hand free, and most surprisingly, he was still holding his lucky stake. 

He tried to adjust his grip, since the stake was pointed out, not in, but he almost dropped it, so he decided he’d stick with an awkward grip. Xander slowly moved his hand up, until it was aimed at the vamp’s back. The problem was, he wasn’t likely to get a second chance at this, so his first hit had better succeed, or he was going to lose his lil’ buddies. He took a deep breath and shoved his lucky stake as hard as he could toward what he hoped was the vamp’s heart. 

Just then Grabby moved his arm, turning Xander’s head the other way, and throwing off Xander’s aim. The tip ended up tangled in the vamp’s sweater, and pulled out of his hand. Xander couldn’t help but moan. He groped Grabby’s back, feeling around for the stake, ‘cause he was pretty sure he hadn’t heard it fall to the ground, but the vamp took all that the wrong way.

He pulled his tongue out of Xander’s mouth long enough to say, “See? I told you you’d like it. I’m going to send you flying, babe.”

Babe? 

Xander tried to say no, but as soon as his mouth opened, Grabby shoved his tongue in again. One thing Xander had learned about vampires tonight was that they had very strong tongues. He had no choice but to let it in, but damn it was gross. He went back to looking for his stake, and finally, his finger touched it, but he couldn’t seem to get a good grip on it, his fingers slipping off the tip. Then it fell, and Xander could have cried, until Spike popped up behind the vamp, with Xander’s lucky stake in his hand.

He stared at the stake, then looked back at Xander and tilted his head, as if wondering what Xander wanted the stake for. 

Xander growled at Spike, but Grabby took that as a sign and released his mouth to shove Xander’s pants down. Then the vamp started on the buttons of his jeans. Xander pointed at the vamp’s back, his eyes wide and panicked. He was not going to get raped by a vampire with Spike so close by. Spike wouldn’t do that, would he? He wouldn’t stand by and let Xander get raped, would he?

“What are you waiting for?” he cried. He bit back the insult on his tongue, and begged, “Please?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” The stake was in and out of Grabby’s back so fast that the vampire didn’t even have time to turn around. Xander closed his eyes, and held his breath as Grabby went poof! And after the vamp was gone, he sighed in relief, sagging up against the tree. 

_“What took you so long? He was going to rape me! I tried, but there was nothing I could…”_

_Harris trailed off, and Spike guessed that was probably due to the way Spike couldn’t stop staring at him. But there was no help for it, the boy looked delicious. His hair was a rumpled mess, his lips red and bruised, and his shirt was torn down the front. He panted heavily, his chest rising and falling, his nipples sharp in the cool night air. His jeans hung down around his knees, and his half-hard cock was just begging for some attention._

_“Spike?”_

_Harris’ voice was breathy and shaking, and Spike decided he liked hearing his name called like that. He stalked up to Harris, dropping the stake to the ground._

_“Hey, that’s my lucky stake!”_

_“Yeah? Must be. I know my luck has certainly changed.” Then he was pressed up against Harris, and the boy moaned as Spike ran his fingers over Harris’ puffy bottom lip._

_“He was going to…”_

_Spike pressed two fingers to his lips to stop him from saying more._

_“Well, he’s gone now, isn’t he? You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”_

_Harris licked his lips, and the soft tip of his tongue caressed Spike’s fingers. It was Spike’s turn to moan. “Harris…”_

_Harris shook his head. “Xander. Call me Xander,” he whispered. Then he wrapped one hand around the back of Spike’s neck, and pulled him into a kiss._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike has finally found Xander. Now they can hunt down the Sualapet, _if_ they can keep their hands off each other long enough to go hunting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt Notes:** Inspiration for this fic taken from the Live Journal Community Tamingthemuse prompt #397: Hyperventilate

Spike pressed himself up against Xander, blissfully soaking up all the heat he put out. He ran his hands up Xander’s sides, the ripped shirt rucking up enough that Spike could slide his hands across all that bare skin and wrap his arms around Xander. He reveled in the feel of the strong muscles he found there. Xander was a boy - barely twenty years old. In five or ten years, he would be a stunning man, but Spike was pretty damn impressed already.

He concentrated on kissing Xander for a while, trying to wipe the memory of that other vamp from Xander’s mind _and_ his mouth, until all he could taste was Spike. Xander was an enthusiastic kisser; Spike liked that in a human. They could sometimes be a bit passive when they had a partner as strong as a vamp, but he wasn’t at all surprised that Xander was as aggressive a kisser as he was when he and Spike traded barbs. His tongue could be lethal, but then so could Spike’s. Together, they could account for one hell of a good snog.

Letting his hands wander, Spike stroked the small of Xander’s back, and that last lovely dip before the buttocks. Firm, round muscle over sleek skin - Xander’s ass was a work of art. He sent one finger exploring the top of his crack, but Xander pulled back, breaking their kiss.

“Wait, wait!” He panted heavily, and Spike smirked, knowing that he was the one to drive Xander that wild. He could feel Xander’s cock poking into his hip, and he certainly hadn’t been that excited when that other vamp had been kissing him. 

“Wait? Why?” Spike did his best not to drive Xander off now. He’d needed to come since they first showed up at Lover’s Lane an hour ago. “You know you want me, Xander.” He pulled back enough to get his hand between the two of them, and stroked Xander’s cock. 

Spike watched as Xander’s head fell back, his eyes closing. He wanted Spike as much as Spike wanted him. “When’s the last time you wanted something this much?”

“But it’s not real! It’s the Swallow Pet demon.” Xander bit his lip, obviously disappointed.

Spike rolled his eyes at his mispronunciation, but then he smirked at Xander. 

“So? Who cares if it’s the Sualapet? Remember, you wouldn’t be affected if you weren’t already attracted to me. You and me? We want each other, so why fight it? We can fuck first, then go find the demon. By the time the Slayer and the witches show up, we’ll have a dead demon to show for our troubles, and they need never know what we got up to while they were off playing footsie with the frat boys.”

“All this time, you were attracted to me?” There was Xander’s disbelief, right on time.

“You needn’t sound so shocked. You’ve put on some nice muscle since I’ve been hanging out around you bunch.” His hand traced Xander’s face as he spoke. “Deep chocolate eyes, shaggy brown hair, sexy lips…” Spike trailed off, lost in his fantasies of what those lips could do to his cock. He shook his head to clear it. He needed to focus here, if he was going to seduce Harris, who was staring at him in surprise.

“I never… I mean, we’ve always fought, so I thought…”

Spike moved closer, grinding his hips against Xander’s cock. The boy’s eyes closed as he moaned appreciatively. “Some of the best shags I’ve ever had have been with people I fought. The higher the fire flares, the deeper the passion.” 

He took Xander’s lips again, brushing his own against them before nibbling and sucking on his bottom lip. His teasing had Xander moaning, and he opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. Spike let Xander in and slowly ramped up the passion. 

Spike liked the way Xander threw himself into whatever he wanted. It made for one hell of a good bed partner. As if they were going to make it to a bed. That was a shame. He could see Xander lying on the dark red sheets he’d nicked for his bed last week. Maybe Spike could talk him into a second go around, once they’d finished with this demon. He rolled his hips sensuously, and Xander groaned into Spike’s mouth.

“Wait, wait, wait.” 

Xander pushed Spike back again, and Spike sighed. This was going to take all night at this rate. But fortunately, all Xander wanted was to get rid of Spike’s belt, and unbutton his jeans. He reached in and grabbed Spike’s cock, pulling it out. It was Spike’s turn to moan. Xander held Spike in that hot hand of his, and stroked, and Spike leaned in again for another kiss. Those kisses were addictive. 

When Spike pressed up against him, Xander let go of his cock, giving Spike a chance to buck his hips, and let their cocks slide against each other. Xander gasped at the sensation, and Spike smirked at him. He pushed Xander back against the tree he’d been leaning against earlier, both of Spike’s legs between Xander’s wide-spread ones, and showed him how it was done. His hips circled and pressed in, and they both moaned in pleasure. 

This wasn’t going to take long, they were both already close to the edge. Spike started a steady pace, his thrusts pushing their slick cocks together against Xander’s belly, his balls aching with the need to let go and spill all over Xander’s warm skin. Xander started wiggling, and Spike pulled back to see what he was doing, but he simply pulled back far enough to kick his jeans off one foot before he pulled Spike back against him.

Xander wrapped one leg around Spike’s legs, his hips undulating as he writhed against Spike. There was a moment when Spike’s brain whited-out, and he lost track of what they were doing. Fortunately, his body kept moving, and he found his pace again, his face pressed into the curve of Xander’s neck. Xander’s movements were eager, and he ground against Spike frantically, seeking his release. 

His back arched, his ragged cry pulled from his throat as he stiffened, straining against Spike’s body. Spike doubled his efforts, twisting urgently as he sought his own release. Xander held on to his shoulders tightly, his sharp nails bright points of fire as they dug into Spike’s back. Spike’s hips stuttered as his rhythm broke, and he rocked, pumping his hips fiercely into Xander’s heated skin. He came with a guttural moan, holding on to Xander’s waist, worried that his legs might not hold him up if he let go.

“Oh, bloody fucking hell,” he gasped, stiffening his knees as his balance came close to deserting him. That was the best shag he’d had in years, and neither of them had even managed to totally rid themselves of their clothes. He couldn’t imagine what they’d be capable of with a bed under them.

_Xander’s head was spinning. He dropped it back, but it thunked against the tree behind him, and could he just say Ow?_

_“Ow.”_

_Spike snickered at him, but made no move to give Xander more room, so he stayed where he was, and protected his head with his hand._

_“Thanks Spike. You’re absolutely no help whatsoever.”_

_Spike pulled far enough back to look Xander in the eye. “And what did you expect?”_

_Xander thought about that for a moment then rolled his eyes. “Good point.”_

_Spike finally stood up, and stretched. “Well. That was a bit of all right.”_

_Xander remained leaning up against the tree as he tried to get his legs working again. “That was more than all right. Is it always that good?”_

_“What? Sex with me? Of course it is.” Spike’s smirk would normally be completely unbearable, but Xander was having trouble caring at the moment. So he merely sighed, and clarified his question._

_“Sex with a guy, doofus.” Oh, damn. Xander hadn’t planned to let that piece of information out. Maybe Spike wouldn’t notice._

_Spike had pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket, and was wiping come off his cock. He looked at Xander in surprise. “I was your first?”_

_“Well,” he said, embarrassed at his slip up. Spike would never let him forget it. “I had some guys in Oxnard who offered,” he stopped, surprised to see the snarl on Spike’s face. He looked around to see what had Spike upset, but he couldn’t see anything. “What?”_

_Spike stopped snarling abruptly, and shrugged. “Nah, it’s nothing,” he said casually._

_He handed the handkerchief to Xander by a clean corner. Xander hesitated, but he finally grabbed it. He’d feel better with his cock on the inside of his jeans, but he wasn’t about to put it back into his pants without cleaning it, and his stomach, off first. He was a mess._

_“So I was your first?” Spike repeated._

_Damn. He wasn’t going to let this drop. Xander kept his focus on his cleaning project, and answered as casually as possible. “Well, yeah. First guy, but I’ve had plenty of girls.”_

_He exaggerated his tally slightly; he had a feeling Spike wouldn’t be impressed with his grand total of one and a half girls. His time with Faith had been over so fast that he hardly knew what had happened. Anya had done her best to make up for that with both quantity and variety, but he’d had a bit of a dry spell since she’d left that forced him to rely on his right hand once again. Hey, what Spike didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt him, right?_

_He got the idea that Spike wasn’t convinced, but fortunately, he let it slide. He offered Xander his sexiest smile, and Xander’s knees almost gave way. Dear God, but he was gorgeous! It was a good thing that Xander had plenty of experience tucking away his cock, because he couldn’t remember doing it at all. He usually tried to be much more aware when he zipped up his jeans, but his mind was a total blank as Spike slowly stalked in his direction like a big cat on the prowl._

_“Well, we were somewhat rushed, this time, now weren’t we. I suppose that since I was your first, the least I could do would be to offer you a better introduction to sex with another man.” He stopped about six inches from Xander, who’d backed up until he found himself against that same tree, once again. Spike pulled back with a frown, and Xander found himself following, until he saw the annoyed look on Spike’s face._

_“Unless you’d rather have another guide?”_

_“Oh, hell no!” Xander shook his head urgently. He didn’t have the presence of mind to say anything really coherent, but he hoped his protest would be understood._

_Spike smirked at him in satisfaction, and leaned in once again. “Well, all right, then.”_

_Then they were kissing. Xander’s eyes closed in pleasure, and he concentrated on the sensations. The brush of Spike’s lips against his own. The way he sucked Xander’s bottom lip into his mouth, biting it gently before he brushed his tongue against Xander’s upper lip, asking for entrance. Xander gave it eagerly, and he sighed at the way Spike’s tongue swept through his mouth, strong and bold, and his tongue met it, challenging and teasing. He liked the way Spike kissed._

_When Spike pulled back, they were both panting, and he had no idea when they’d started rubbing up against each other again, but they were both wild-eyed and ready to start all over, their cocks hard and insistent as they pressed up against each other._

Spike fell to his knees, and Xander gasped, probably thinking that Spike’s knees had given out. But so what if they had? It put him at just the right height to pull out Xander’s cock, and lick a wide stripe up it before sucking it into his mouth. Xander’s muffled squeak would have made Spike laugh, if his mouth hadn’t been full. The aroma was rich and heady, and the remnants of both of their come mixed together on Xander’s cock made for a delicious treat. 

He sucked on the head, licking around the rim, and slipping the tip of his tongue into the slit. Then he spent a few minutes licking on the bundle of nerves at the bottom of the head, flicking it with his tongue. He got a loud, broken groan for his efforts. While he was running his tongue over the heavy vein on the bottom of Xander’s cock, Spike pressed one knuckle against the boy’s perineum, which earned him a shout. 

Every task has its rhythms, and its patterns, and Spike lost himself in them, the gratification of giving another pleasure, the slick glide of a hard cock against the tongue, the velvet over steel heft of a heavy cock ready to spend. He was surprised to feel Xander’s hands pushing his head away.

“Spike, I’m going to come!”

Spike pulled free of Xander’s hands, and took his cock in again. He popped the head of Xander’s cock past the resistance of his throat, and swallowed.

Xander shouted loudly, folding over Spike’s head as the tremors of his orgasm made him shudder and twitch. He held onto Spike’s shoulders, and forced himself into a standing position with his back against his favorite tree. Spike had barely tucked Xander back into his jeans before he grabbed Spike’s shoulders and pulled him up into a kiss. Spike liked Xander’s kisses, they were eager and passionate, and they sent flares of excitement through his body, reminding him of how badly he needed to come.

He reached for his belt, but Xander pushed his hands away and unbuttoned the jeans Spike had buttoned less than fifteen minutes ago, pulling out his painfully hard cock. 

“This shouldn’t take long, Harris,” Spike said breathily, “just give it a few jerks and I’ll spill.”

Xander whistled his surprise as he stared at the dark red color of Spike’s cock. “Jesus, Spike! That has got to hurt.”

Spike wheezed out a laugh. “I didn’t realize how much until you pulled me up for a kiss.” He reached for his cock, determined to get off as fast as possible, but Xander smacked away his hand.

“Oi!”

Xander grabbed his aching cock, and started to stroke, but he used far too gentle a grip. Spike would never get off at that rate, so he wrapped his hand around Xander’s and showed him what he needed. He’d been right. Just a few strokes later, Spike came, leaning heavily on Xander’s shoulder, his breath hitching in his throat.

“Bloody. Fucking. Hell,” he gasped.

The scent of his come got suddenly stronger, and he raised his head far enough to see Xander licking Spike’s come off his fingers. Spike moaned. If he hadn’t just this second come, that would have caused a spontaneous orgasm. He righted himself so he could watch. 

Xander shrugged. “Kinda salty, kinda bitter, and slick on my tongue. But not bad.”

Spike grabbed Xander’s hand, and pulled the first two fingers into his mouth, cleaning them with his tongue. Xander stared at him, licking his lips, his eyes dark and hungry. 

“That’s seriously the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Xander pulled his fingers out of Spike’s mouth, and replaced them with his tongue. It took only a few minutes before the two were rutting up against each other again, but Spike broke away, finally, and pulled back, out of Xander’s arms. 

“No! Don’t touch me.” He pointed one finger while keeping his distance from Xander. “We could do this all night. We have to stop now, before we start another round.”

“Why?” Xander looked completely confused.

“It’s the Sualapet, Xander.”

Xander’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, God, Spike, I’d forgotten all about the Swallow Pet!”

Spike growled softly, but Xander ignored him.

He looked around wildly, his panic growing. “It’s out there right now, driving these kids mad with lust! We have to find it, and kill it, before it forces us to have sex all night! We have to kill it, and then we can…” He was panting so fast Spike thought he might hyperventilate. “And then… we…” 

Xander paused, dropping his eyes – Spike thought maybe he wasn’t sure if they’d still want each other after the Sualapet was dead and gone. He might be right, but Spike wasn’t ready to give up on them yet. So he hedged his bets, just in case.

“We’ll kill it, Xander, and then we’ll go to your place, and fuck each other blind.”

Spike refused to admit, even to himself, how good the relief in Xander’s eyes made him feel. 

“Good plan,” Xander said enthusiastically.


	5. Part Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They've finally started hunting, and they're slaying the vamps left and right (with regular breaks for sex, of course.) But they can't seem to find that Sualapet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Prompt Notes:** Inspiration for this fic taken from the Live Journal community Tamingthemuse prompt #397: Requiem  
>  **Notes:** Frédéric Chopin's Marche Funèbre (Funeral March) can be found [**here**](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hgw_RD_1_5I).  
>  Info on Foghorn Leghorn can be found [**here**](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foghorn_Leghorn). There is no episode in which [**Barnyard Dawg**](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barnyard_Dog) drags off Foghorn humming the Funeral March, I made that up, but it's definitely something that could happen in the cartoons, if not with Dawg, then with the tiny little chicken hawk, [**Henery Hawk**](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henery_Hawk).  
>  Monty Python's Parrot Sketch can be seen [**here**](http://youtu.be/4vuW6tQ0218).

Xander cursed. “I can’t believe I’m lost in the woods, while everyone else is off having sex!” he groused. “Leave it to me to go looking for some privacy for a quiet, little pee, and get lost in the stupid woods.” He stomped noisily through the bushes, one hand always near the lucky stake hidden in his waistband, gripping his Super Soaker tightly with the other. No sense taking any chances.

There was a rush of movement behind him, and before he could even turn around, someone was at his back, an inhumanly strong arm across his chest. 

“Well, aren’t you a pretty one?” a deceptively high-pitched woman’s voice asked. 

Xander tried to break free of her grip, but she was too strong. No one who sounded like a 15 year old girl should be as strong as this woman was. There ought to be a law.

“Pretty?” he asked indignantly. “I am _not_ pretty! I’m a manly-man with well-endowed man parts, who’s been known to be called a Viking in the sack! I am the _opposite_ of pretty.”

Xander’s whole manly speech was interrupted when she spun him around and his shoe slid over the leaf-strewn ground. His foot flew up into the air, planting him on his ass at her feet, his Super Soaker flying out of his arms to land six feet away under a bush. His eyes widened as he took in the stunning woman before him. She had long brown legs, curvy hips, and breasts that would fit perfectly into the palms of his hands, and Xander couldn’t help but feel a jolt of arousal flush through him.

She grinned down at him, licking her lips, her eyes on the vein in his neck. “Oh, you look rather pretty from here.” Reaching down, her tight, cornrow braids swinging as she grabbed the front of his shirt, she hauled him to his feet with one hand.

Okay, so maybe the squeak he let out at that point had been kind of girlish, but he was still all man, and he’d prove it to her, just as soon as she let go of his shirt. He had the manliest running and fleeing skills in Sunnydale. He’d had tons of practice at that over the years. Along with the manly art of hiding behind a five-foot-four blond girl in a mini-skirt.

The vampire grabbed his groin with her free hand, her eyebrows rising as she felt him up. “Well-endowed is right!”

“Hey! That’s naughty touching.” His voice got higher, the tighter she squeezed. “No groping the bait!”

“Bait?” she asked.

“Bait,” Spike replied, right before she turned to dust.

Xander landed back on his ass, going down hard when the hand holding his shirt disappeared in a puff of ash. 

“Where the hell were you?” Xander climbed to his feet, rubbing his butt. He cleared his throat, and lowered his speaking voice back to a more normal, pre-groping pitch. “She was fondling me!” 

Spike took a deep breath, and Xander blushed when he realized that Spike could tell he’d been turned on by the vamp who’d felt him up. “Doesn’t seem like you were too upset, now were you?”

“Okay, so she was hot, for a vamp. I mean… for a female-type vamp-person. Hey, I have a stupid cock, you know that. I mean, I even got hard when Old Grabby was feeling me up, and I was not at all attracted to him.”

Spike crossed his arms and stared at Xander, a sour look on his face. 

“It’s not like I was going to actually do anything with her, I was waiting – impatiently – for you to get here and stake her.” 

A flash of images poured through his head as he thought of all the things he and Spike had done together, and another, larger burst of arousal flooded his body, his cock standing at attention inside his jeans. Spike’s body was a work of art, and he hated that he didn’t have the time to focus on it the way it deserved. Spike’s eyes followed Xander’s tongue as he licked his lips. Spike licked his own as he watched, and Xander moaned, remembering the marvelous feats Spike’s tongue had been capable of. 

Spike cleared his throat, shaking his head as if to clear it. “We best be on our way. I dusted another vamp back there, while you were getting molested, but we still have a good half a dozen in the area, not to mention the Sualapet.”

Xander winced when Spike mentioned the sexual-energy-eating demon. He’d forgotten about it, yet again. “Oh. Right. We should do that, I guess...”

Spike took a step closer, frowning in reaction to the wince. “If you’re all right, that is. She threw you around a bit, didn’t she? Maybe I should ummm…check you over – for injuries – before we get back into it. I don’t want you in any pain…or anything…” 

He walked around Xander, examining him from all sides. “Where does it hurt?” he asked as he pulled up Xander’s shirt, running his cool hands over Xander’s overheated skin. 

“Ummm…” He hated to admit the truth. It wasn’t really very manly to admit your butt hurt. 

“Tell me,” Spike insisted. “I won’t have you hurting. Tell me where it hurts most.”

“My ass?”

Spike stopped examining his ribs, his eyes wide, and a little surprised. Then he leered at Xander, his eyebrows wiggling. “Can’t have that, now can we?”

He grabbed Xander by the arm, and hauled him over to the nearest tree. Before Xander knew what was happening, he was holding onto an oak tree, his pants down around his ankles with his ass sticking out, while Spike introduced him to the wonderful world of rimming. When Anya had suggested it, he’d declined either giving or receiving; it just hadn’t sounded…sanitary. But Spike hadn’t given him a choice, and Xander surrendered to the incredible sensations. 

When Xander came, he saw stars.

_Hunting down the vamps with plans for the teenagers in the Boonies was a breeze with Harris around. He’d point Harris in a direction, and slink off into the bushes to follow, and sure enough, within minutes, a vamp would target him. How the hell he’d survived twenty years on a Hellmouth Spike would never understand. But using him as bait worked well, and they’d taken out half the vamps in no time._

_They‘d seen neither hide nor hair of the Sualapet, but that was fine with Spike. He’d rather get rid of the vamps that had planned to turn the Boondocks into an all-you-can-eat buffet, first. The Sualapet demon would be easy enough to spot, seeing as he should be the only tall, light-gray skinned demon with green, glowing eyes that they’d run into tonight. Fortunately, these woods weren’t so close packed with trees that the moon couldn’t be seen. It wasn’t perfect, but even Harris should be able to spot green, glowing eyes in this light._

_The hard part was keeping focused on the job. He’d much rather be snogging with Xander than staking vamps, and killing demons with a penchant for sexual energy. Hell, he’d rather be fucking that fine arse, but he knew Harris. He’d never go home before the job was done. So they’d stay until they found it, kill the bastard, then hopefully, there’d still be enough Sualapet hormones in the boy’s system that he wouldn’t mind inviting old Spike home for the day. Spike knew he had talents. If he could get into Harris’ bed, he’d convince him to let Spike stay._

_He spotted a new vamp trailing after Harris, and Spike followed along behind him. Show time!_

Xander was pretty sure the vamp trailing him was the last one in the Boondocks – other than Spike, that is. Spike had been the Energizer Battery Bunny of vampires tonight. He’d taken out three of them at once at one point. He spotted one that was about to munch on a boy, but while Spike was fighting that one, three others had attacked him. Xander had gotten to use his lucky stake on one of those, bring his total for the night up to two. Which was not to be sneezed at – it was close to his all-time record. 

He wasn’t sure why anyone would want to sneeze at his ability to screw up staking far more vamps than he actually dusted, but he needed to get his mind back on his job. It was too dangerous to not pay attention, even if you did have an extremely talented and enthusiastic vampire on your tail. He made a good bodyguard, too. 

He wished the vamp would hurry up and make his play. Xander was tired of being a decoy, but it looked like this vamp was too busy being sneaky. Playing bait was nerve-wracking, but it had worked out better than Xander had expected. They’d cleared out at least a dozen vamps, and they hadn’t lost a single kid. Well, one guy and his girlfriend had needed to drive their friends to the hospital, but Spike said they would be fine, they were just a few pints low.

Tonight had been a real eye-opener for Xander. Spike had knocked his old prejudices for a loop, and Xander’d found himself enjoying their time together. And not just the sexy times, either, although those were pretty spectacular. When he wasn’t being an asshole, Spike could be funny as hell, and he laughed at Xander’s jokes, too, which was always of the good. Xander had to admit, not everyone got him, even when they thought they did. He hoped this thing with Spike wasn’t a onetime thing. He wasn’t sure exactly what this thing was, but he liked it, anyway.

There was a scuffling noise behind him, and he whirled around to find Spike and the vamp rolling across the ground. They wrestled for a while, one or the other taking control, but never long enough to give them a real advantage. Xander had his lucky stake in his hand, but he knew better than to get between two vampires. Well, he knew better now. He hadn’t known that earlier tonight. 

The parking in the Boonies wasn’t the same as it was on the other side of the woods. There was no clearing like in Lover’s Lane, the ground was uneven, and the cars were parked much closer to the bushes and trees. Spike had gone after a vamp who was crawling on his hands and knees, trying to stay below the level of the window, so the kids in the car wouldn’t see him. The two started fighting, and Xander had tried to help, climbing over the rough ground to distract the vamp. But he’d only gotten in the way, and Spike had been forced to split his attention between Xander and the vampire he was fighting. The vamp had come close to staking him. Spike had been furious, and they’d had a fight about it afterwards, but it hadn’t lasted long, and the make-up sex had been fantastic.

Xander had to wonder about the condition of his cock. It didn’t hurt, or anything, but he’d been using and abusing it all night. He hoped he hadn’t damaged it or anything. He usually didn’t have a problem with staying power, or recovery time – once or twice, and occasionally even three times over the course of a day. But he’d lost count of how many times he’d come tonight, and although that might be natural for a vampire, he was human, and even a teenaged human needed a break at some point. But every single time he’d watched Spike fight tonight he’d gotten horny, just from watching.

“Stake!”

Xander realized with a start that he’d lost track of the fight. Spike was kneeling astride the other vamp, and punching him in the face, but he seemed to have lost his stake somewhere along the line. Xander threw his lucky stake to him, and he snatched it out of the air and drove it down into sneaky vamp’s chest. Sneaky vamp went poof, and Xander tackled Spike. 

They went rolling across the grass, laughing and pulling at each other’s clothes, just as turned on as they had been the first time they’d had sex. Spike ended up above him, and he sucked on Xander’s neck as his hips ground down into Xander’s. Maybe the Sualapet had special recuperative healing powers that went along with the sexy hormones, because Xander had never been this turned on in his life, and he never wanted it to end.

_Spike pulled out his last cigarette, and lit it, blowing smoke up into the night air. “Only a few hours before dawn. The Sualapet is obviously still in the neighborhood, despite our rather noisy antics tonight, so he must not be easily spooked. If we don’t find him in the next half hour, we’ll have to head back to town, and try again tomorrow.”_

_Lying on the ground next to Spike, Xander stretched out and crossed his legs at the ankles, tucking his crossed arms behind his head for a pillow. “Sounds like a plan to me. There’s not a lot of chance that we’ll have another dozen or so vamps invading tomorrow night. Maybe we can bring your car right up into the Boonies, and use it as a base of sorts. Meet up there if we get separated, and maybe keep some snacks handy, in case we need an energy boost in the middle of the night.”_

_“Fuck in the backseat,” Spike added casually._

_Nodding his agreement, Xander added, “Which would make a change from fucking in the grass, on a big rock, up against a tree, and in one memorable and never to be repeated incident, up **in** a tree…” _

_“Right. It’ll be tough, but we’ll just keep coming back until it’s dead.”_

_“Or we’ll keep coming until we’re dead,” Xander offered, thinking of Giles’ dire warnings about sex under the influence of a Sualapet._

_“But what a way to go, right? ‘Bereft of life, it rests in peace…’” Spike quoted._

_“What’s that?”_

_“Monty Python, you dunce. You’ve never heard of the parrot sketch? ‘This is an ex-parrot!’”_

_“Is that like that scene with that rooster, Foghorn Leghorn, and the dog he always plays jokes on? And at the end he gets dragged away by the dog who’s humming that dead people song.”_

_“Dead people song? What the bleeding hell are you talking about? You mean a requiem?”_

_“No, you know. The one they always play on TV when somebody dies.” Xander started to sing in a very low, and very bad voice. “Dum dum de dum, dum de dum dum dum dah dum…”_

_Spike rolled his eyes. “That’s Frédéric Chopin’s Marche Funèbre, you infidel. The Funeral March.”_

_“Frederic Sho-who?”_

_“Never mind, idiot. Never mind.” Tucking his fag into the corner of his mouth, Spike stood up, and held out a hand for Xander. “Now come on, you need to play bait one last time, then we can go home, and fuck on a real bed.”_

_“Good idea. My cock may still be raring to go, but my ass is kinda sore.”_

It was getting late. Xander thought he could see the faintest lightening of the sky that marked the beginning of day, and he worried about Spike. They still had to walk all the way back to Spike’s car before day broke, and then get Spike into the apartment. His curtains were heavy enough to keep the sun out once they made it home, but they needed to call it a night. 

He liked the idea that they could come back tomorrow to try again. He intended to take every opportunity to spend time with Spike, before it was too late. Xander was really going to miss him when this was over, but he had a feeling they wouldn’t last once the Sualapet’s hormone wasn’t affecting them anymore. 

“Spike, we need to go home, now. It’s getting late.”

Xander turned around in a circle, watching the foliage for a hint of where Spike was hiding. “Spike?” He didn’t shout. Spike should be close enough to hear him when he spoke at a normal volume. He’d promised Xander all night that he’d be able to hear him, and he’d come running as soon as Xander said his name. But he wasn’t there – he wasn’t anywhere. There wasn’t a single noise, not a single twitch of a leaf. The quiet was eerie, and a shiver worked its way up his spine. 

“Spike? Where are you?”

“Right here,” Spike whispered from behind him.

Xander spun as he shouted, and dropped his Super Soaker. He would have gone down in a tangle of limbs if Spike’s strong arms hadn’t caught him and held him tight. He laughed at Xander, who smacked him on the chest.

“You asshole! You scared the pee out of me!”

Spike stepped back, his expressive blue eyes wide with shock. “No, not that!”

Xander smacked him again. “Oh, very funny, you ass.”

“You spend an inordinate amount of time talking about my arse, Harris. Is there something you want to tell me? Would you like to kiss it?”

Xander frowned at him, half-seriously, half-playful, and pulled away, crossing his arms. “No, but after that stunt, you should probably kiss mine.”

Spike’s eyes lit up, and his lecherous grin made it hard for Xander to keep his frown going, but he tried, anyway.

“Been there, done that, mate. But I’d love another chance, so bare it and I will.”

“Oh, yeah?” 

Xander stared at Spike thoughtfully. Spike was being very careful of Xander’s ass, insisting that they wait until they could find some lube before they actually had sex. He understood the reasoning – it would definitely spoil the mood if Xander even _whispered_ ouch, and the chip fired in the middle of sex. But maybe, if he was well lubed with spit it wouldn’t hurt. It definitely was worth a try.

Over the course of the night, the button on Xander’s pants had gone the way of his underwear - lost in the line of duty. So he grabbed the zipper, and pulled – carefully, of course - as he turned his back. With his jeans around his ankles, he pointed his bare ass at Spike, who fell to his knees with a moan.

“Mmmmm. You have a lovely arse, Xander.” 

He bit one cheek, and Xander shuddered as arousal rushed through him. He thanked the Sualapet as Spike went right to work, his tongue skimming up and down Xander’s crack. He should have taken off his jeans; he needed more room to spread his legs. 

His cock had hardened as soon as Spike told him to bare his ass, and he stroked it, enjoying the ripples of pleasure that shot through him. Not that he needed much in the way of stimulation; he’d been half-hard all night. He pushed back against Spike’s strong tongue, and it slipped even farther inside him, fucking him rhythmically. 

“Xander?”

He looked up, his brow creased into a frown. He could have sworn that someone said his name, but Spike’s tongue was a little busy right now, so he must have been imagining it. Spike caressed his balls, and he moaned, dropping his head down far enough to see that Spike had undone his own buttons, and was stroking his cock with the hand that wasn’t kneading Xander’s balls.

“I’m sure I heard his voice…”

Spike jerked his head back so quickly that Xander lost his balance, and almost tumbled to the ground. Spike caught him around the waist at the last second, and pulled him into a standing position before bending over and pulling up both their jeans at the same time. Xander grabbed his, forced his still hard cock inside, and zipped up in panic. It was awkward, but with Buffy in the neighborhood, he had a feeling he’d calm down pretty quickly. 

Not that he wasn’t attracted to Buffy, but he wasn’t ready to share Spike with anyone, no matter how much of a crush he’d had on her in high school. Spike spun him round, and checked his clothes, and he pulled his grungy t-shirt down as far as it would go in the front. No sense advertising anything. They still hadn’t seen her, yet, but that had definitely been Buffy they’d heard talking. He’d know that voice anywhere.

“You all right, Xander?” Spike murmured.

He nodded, running his fingers through his hair. “I’m not ready for her to know, yet…” That sounded awful. He didn’t want to hide Spike like a dirty little secret. He just needed a little time to deal with all this before he told them, and he’d much rather face them on his own terms.

Spike smiled. “Not a problem, pet. I’m not interested in meeting her stake up close and personal-like, myself.”

That brought all his thoughts to a halt. He hadn’t thought of that. “You really think she’d…”

“Wouldn’t she?” Spike asked bitterly. 

Xander realized that he really expected Buffy to stake him over something like this. 

“The nasty old vampire seducing her innocent young friend?”

He frowned. “Innocent? Who me?”

“Xander! There you are. We’ve been looking for you all over.” Willow’s voice sounded over-bright and wrong, somehow. Like he wasn’t used to hearing it anymore.

There it went. All he’d needed was Willow’s voice, and his inconvenient hard-on disappeared in a moment. That was a relief. 

He turned around, and there they were. A little worse for the wear, it looked like the three of them had had a rough night. Buffy had some kind of green goop on the leg of her slacks, and her shirt looked funny, although he couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it. Tara’s hair was a mess, and she kept running her fingers through it, as if she couldn’t get it to lay right. Willow has a dark smudge of something on her right cheek, and the hem of her skirt was ripped out. It looked like it was unraveling behind her as she walked. And none of them would look him in the eye.

“Xander, you look like hell.”

“I do?” He cleared his throat and tried again, aiming for a less panicky sounding voice. “What do you mean, Buffy?”

“Well, your hair has leaves and bits of grass in it, and there’s something white all over your jeans.”

“Your shirt’s all dirty, too,” Willow said. 

“You look exhausted,” Tara added.

Xander’s mind was blank. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say. So they all stood there, their eyes flicking around without looking directly at anyone’s face. 

“Yeah, well, you try cleaning out a couple dozen vamps in one night, Slayer. He’s got a right to look a bit of a mess.” 

Spike walked up, closer to the three of them, and he got the idea Spike was trying to draw attention away from Xander. He fiddled in his pockets, but came up with an empty pack of cigarettes. He crushed the pack in disgust, and dropped it on the ground.

“Litter!” Willow chirped, pointing to the offending object. 

Spike rolled his eyes, and ignored the package, so Xander grabbed it and put it in his pocket. He envied Spike. For a man who’d had his tongue up Xander’s ass just a few minutes ago, he looked remarkably unruffled. He stood there, playing with his lighter, a bored look on his face, and not one hair out of place. 

“Getting late. I gotta get inside before I fry.” 

As Spike strode past them, Xander grabbed the Super Soakers, and took the opportunity to follow, hoping to get a bit of distance between him and the girls. He was having trouble dealing with the fact that it was no longer just him and Spike out here in the woods. And he seemed to have lost his ability to small talk. Or talk at all, for that matter.

Spike came to the rescue, again. “What’s wrong with your shirt, Slayer? Inside out, isn’t it?” 

Xander turned around to stare. That was odd. He was fairly certain it hadn’t been like that earlier when they were at Giles’ apartment.

“It is?” Buffy looked down, and back up again, her eyes wide. “Oh. That’s odd.” She cleared her throat. “I hadn’t noticed.”

She opened her mouth, but nothing else came out, so she closed it again, looking over at Willow with a panicked expression. Willow eeped, and looked at Tara, who looked back, her eyes wide.

Xander was getting the idea that he and Spike weren’t the only ones with secrets, tonight.

Finally Tara jumped in, changing the subject. “You ran into a couple dozen vuh-vampires tonight, Spike?”

“Yeah, well, not all at once. We took ‘em out, one and two at a time for the most part, but yeah, there were a bloody mess of vamps out here tonight.” 

Spike turned back in the direction of the car, and Xander took out after him. Willow and Tara followed, with Buffy bringing up the rear. Like ducklings in a row.

“Did you say we?” Buffy was finally back on track.

Xander found his voice. He wasn’t a complete waste of space. He could dust a vamp – if someone held it still for him. “I helped,” he said indignantly. “Well, I dusted two. But that’s not bad for one night’s work, right?”

Spike slowed down so he and Xander could walk next to each other. “Three. You dusted three.”

“I really don’t think we can count that third one, Spike. You held him still for me.” There were a few giggles from behind him. “I’m satisfied with my two.” He looked back at the girls, who’d fallen a bit behind. “I used my lucky stake.”

Spike snorted, and Xander was thankful that it was still dark enough to hide his blush. “Yeah, I used your lucky stake a few times, myself.”

Xander found himself choking on air, and Spike pounded on his back hard enough to push him forward a step or two. He took a deep, shaky breath. “Thanks, Spike.”

“But we never found the Sualapet, Slayer. Looks like we’ll have to come back again tomorrow.” 

“Oh. Um... No. He’s dead. He was hanging out in the attic of the Alpha Delta house. It took some time and effort, but we managed to put him away.”

Spike came to a dead halt, and Xander was glad to stop with him. He wasn’t sure if his legs were going to hold him up if he didn’t. What the hell was she talking about?

“You’re sure of that, Slayer?”

The girls kept walking, passing them as they stood there, staring at each other. 

“Oh yeah, it was him, all right. Glowy green eyes, gray skin, a house full of college students having sex on every available surface. Yeah, that was definitely the Swallow Pet.”

“But that means…” Xander whispered. He stopped, unsure of what that meant.

Spike grabbed his arm, pulling him close. “That means it was us, Xander. That whole time, everything we did. It was _us_ all along.”

Xander’s mind was spinning. There’d been no lust monster; nothing had made them have sex over and over again. They’d done it because they’d felt free to do what they wanted, knowing they could blame it on the Sualapet. What they _both_ wanted. Xander’s grin was so broad that it hurt his face.

“You wanted me, all along!” It wasn’t a question.

“Told you I did. You didn’t believe me?”

“Well, you lie. A lot.”

“Oi!” Spike said, like he was offended. “Well, maybe I do,” he admitted grudgingly. “But I wasn’t lying then. Now come on, it’s getting late, and I’d rather not burst into flame before I get the chance to nail you to that mattress of yours.”

“C’mon, guys, keep up!” Buffy shouted at them, walking backwards through the trees until they started moving again. 

“We need to stop at the store on the way home,” Xander said. “We need lube. One of those big pump bottles of lube.”

“And smokes,” Spike added. “And chocolate syrup, and whipped cream.”

“Okay. I’ll have to get ice cream, too, I don’t have any.”

“Nah. Who needs ice cream? You got a sweet tooth a mile long. I’ll pour it on, and you can lick it off. That work for you?”

“Oooh.” The imagery was captivating. He almost went down over a rock on the path when his eyes closed of their own accord. Spike’s strong hand caught his arm, and kept him from falling.

“Easy, mate. Let’s keep that thought for when we get home, right?”

“Right. Home, bed, pounding through the mattress.” Xander’s grin was back. This was turning out to be one of his best nights ever.

“Hey Spike. Did you get the idea that the girls were hiding something from us?”

“You mean the fact that they were all fucking like bunnies over at the Alpha Delta house? Yeah, I got that.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” He tapped his nose with one finger. “Their scents were all over each other.”

“All three of them? At the same time?” Xander stumbled again as that image overloaded his already shaky mind. “I think my brain just froze.”

Spike laughed as he caught Xander’s elbow. “Fortunately, it’s now Saturday, so you’ll have all day to recover from your shock.” 

“Good thing, ‘cause that was one powerful picture you just destroyed my brain with. And since Buffy already killed the thing, we won’t have to come out again tomorrow night and try and hunt down the Sualapet.”

Spike was suddenly right in front of Xander, his eyes narrowed as he poked at Xander’s chest. “You knew how to pronounce its demon name all along, didn’t you? Why the bloody hell did you aggravate me all night long calling it a ‘Swallow Pet?’”

Xander tried to hide his grin, he really did, but it was just too difficult to maintain. “Because you’re so much fun to aggravate, Spike. I love it when you roll your eyes at me. It makes me laugh every time.”

“You just wait,” Spike growled. “When we get back, I’m gonna spank your arse raw.”

Like that was going to stop Xander. He and Anya had played all kind of games together, and he’d discovered he didn’t mind a good spanking from time to time. 

“Is that a promise?” Xander asked eagerly.

Spike’s eyes went wide with surprise. Obviously he’d just shocked the vamp. Score one for the human. Spike took a step closer, a sultry smile on his face. “Oh, yeah, pet. That’s definitely a promise.”

Xander licked his lips. “Good.” Then he took off running after Buffy. “See you at the car!” he called over his shoulder. 

“Oi!” Spike shouted after him.

If he stayed there, they’d end up kissing, which would lead to other things, and with Buffy, Willow, and Tara close by, that was a recipe for disaster. So maybe it was best for him and Spike to keep their distance until they got home. He knew Spike could have caught him without much effort, but he didn’t even try, so he was probably thinking the same thing.

It didn’t stop him from shouting after Xander in mock anger, throwing Britishisms at him the whole time. “You get back here, you knob-head! Bloody wanker… You just wait!”

Oh yeah, Xander was looking forward to it.


End file.
